a letter to grayson on his first birthday

wow. i cannot believe you are a year old. i am no longer a mother of an infant but rather a 1 year old. when people ask how old you are i will no longer answer them in months, now i will be answering in years. it happens so very fast. happy birthday my baby boy. 

one thing i want you to always remember, every day, is how very loved you are. it amazes me how much love i have for you, a kind of love i really didn't know until you came along. it amazes me even more how many other people love you just as much. please always remember, no matter what, that your family is always here for you. they should always be on the very top of your priority list. i know along the way you will probably forget this, especially when you are a teenager, but please always come back to it. so many people will come in and out of your lives. it may feel like they are the most important and that they are above your family but time will go by and they will be gone but we will still be here. still love you. still support you. there is a connection in this family which you will find no where else. remember that. 

also remember that you are amazing. every mother must tell their children that but you are different. don't get so caught up in what others think or say, it's hard not to, and it takes many years to learn to push it aside but you will be happier when you can forget about their opinions and remember how incredible you are. there is something so special about you. a spark and joy that i don't see in other children, such drive. and you are smart, so stinkin smart. i see it every day. hold on to that even when you feel dull and ordinary, because you are not. 

remember to be kind. it's something we all forget. it's very easy to get caught up in yourself, your wants, your needs. try to stop though and place yourself in other people's situation, see what they see, feel what they feel. you can have all the things in the world but if you're not kind and compassionate they won't matter. how you treat people will.

being with you every day brings me such incredible joy. you have taught me so much this year. when i first met you i wasn't quite sure how to feel, and i was scared for a while. as time went on though that fear turned into confidence and then happiness. being a mother is very tough. it's changed me. some days it's much harder then others but it's also wonderful. just seeing you clap your little hands together, or bounce up and down to a tune, for no reason at all, brings such warmth to my heart, and tears to my eyes. having you in my life has made me more compassionate, more understanding, and so much happier. you are my number one and i love you so very much. 

happy first birthday grayson. xo

mom