life with an 11 month old

yes, i said it. 11 months old! that's only one month from him being a one year old. how did this happen so fast!? i look at him and really cannot believe who he has become, or that such a small person can have such a large distinct personality. 

i have to be on my toes at all times, he is into eeeeeverything. 

in a matter of two weeks he went from sorta walking to practically running. he is all over the place like a little drunk man, and so very proud of himself. it is amazing how smart this child is. he watches you do something a few times and boom, he's doing it to. this weekend he walked over to the back door, opened it, and let himself out into the backyard. i just sort of stood there stunned at the fact that a child who is not even one years old figured out how to escape like that! 

he has a temper like a mad hornet. he knows what he wants and he wants it when he wants it and how he wants it. if he doesn't get his way (which i don't always let him) he lets you know he is pissed. he knows right from wrong and that "no" means he better not. he will test you and wait for your reaction every time though. he's not allowed to play with certain things and he will go up to it, very slowly move his hand towards it, all the while watching you. he waits for a reaction and laughs. so bad. 

























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pinching is his new favorite thing. he doesn't do it to hurt, he just thinks it's funny. he attacked poor mark the other day, he has the bruises to show it. this child is rough and wild, a total boy. i joke that i am going to be the mother always getting the phone calls "excuse me mrs. constantine, we had a bit of an incident with grayson today", but it just might be the truth. he has an endless amount of energy. 


he is also the sweetest little boy though. he adores animals. no one gets kissed as much as the dogs do. cherrio runs like a madman to avoid him but pancake (who up until recently was not at all a fan) will lay there and let him pull on her legs and "pet" her belly. 


he eats like a teenager. full adult size meals- all day long. baby food is a fight, he wants solid food that he can feed himself. he doesn't know how just yet to get the food onto the fork and into his mouth but he tries and one day in the not so far future he will get it. almost all of my meals are shared these days. sometimes i don't even get a meal because he eats all of it! poor boy also ended up with his mama's sweet-tooth. 


when he is tired he tucks him arms into you and rolls his body onto yours so that his face is burrowed into your chest. it's one of my favorite things. we finally seem to have a bit of a napping schedule. he is up by 6am most days but will sometimes lay in bed with me till 7. around 10 he will take a nap for me. a crib nap (as opposed to having to hold him like i did before)! i never know how long it will last so during that time i am like a woman on speed. i try and get as many things done as fast as i can because once he is up he probably won't nap again, unless it's a late afternoon car nap. 


i must say though, i kind of love who is turning into. he keeps me very busy and i cannot look away for even a moment (the other day i walked into the kitchen for a split second and when i came back he had climbed onto a pillow, onto the couch, onto the end table!) but most days that's okay. i enjoy watching him learn and discover things. it's so much more fun now that he is walking. everything is so much more fun for him now. 

nap time & separation anxiety

if you are a mother, please, fill this post with comments! this post takes on two pretty big subjects, but i could really use advise on both. pass it on to other moms, i can use all the advice i can get. 


grayson is not a napper. ever since he started sleeping though the night, which is about 10-11 hours, he stopped taking naps during the day. i thought maybe that was normal but other kids sleep through the night and still nap. if i'm lucky he will take a little nap during the day but only if i am holding him, and never more then 45 minutes. 15 minutes is the norm. 


moms, do your kids nap on their own or are you making them take a nap? 


sometimes if he is really tired i will put him in his crib but he just cries and cries. he will eventually fall asleep but i am lucky if i get a half hour out of that nap. 


is this normal? should i force him to nap? maybe he doesn't need them- or is that ridiculous? i honestly don't know. i DO know that most other kids seem to be napping, and they have a schedule. please tell me what works for you, how do you do it? 


if i had a child who napped it would make life a bit more glorious. i love spending my days with grayson but it would be nice to be able to pee on my own without having a little person in there pulling at me. i would love to be able to get dressed without having him on my hip. or to be able to walk more then two feet away from him without a full on panic attack. 


i know this is normal for children but when do they outgrow the anxiety? i have memories of my sister, where she was at least six, running down the street hysterical after my mom when she left to go out one night. she was screaming and crying and totally out of control. this apparently happened on a daily basis when my mom took her to school as well. please tell me this doesn't last that long! 


grayson is a very well socialized baby. he spends lots of time with other people, i don't shy away from handing him into other people's arms. why does he panic now though when i am not at an arms length from him? when we play on the floor he will be in his own world, facing away from me, but every minute or so reach behind and touch me just to make sure i am still there. 


is there anything i can do to help him get over this panic? the last couple night's he has woken up screaming so hard that i literally run into the room expecting him to be in some sort of horrible pain. as soon as he sees me though he's okay. 


what can i do? please tell me everything that works for you. any advice would be so appreciated. 

i guess he was tired

he went from this..

to this...

in a matter of two minutes. we were playing on the floor when all the sudden he laid down and went to sleep. 

afternoon naps

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is this normal?

does anyone else's child insist on sleeping with their butt in the air? 

he was giving us a hard time going to bed tonight. he just sat up in bed chewing on his dog blanket staring at the door. when i checked back in on him he was still in the same spot, sitting up, with his head down. ASLEEP. i tried to get a picture of it but the noise of me going up and down the stairs to get the camera disturbed him before i could get the shot. it was ridiculous. 

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oops

i know im not supposed to do this anymore but i just couldn't resist tonight. i let grayson fall asleep on me. it was his bedtime and rather then take him up i just snuggled him. we were out running around all day and i work tomorrow so i felt like i needed some me and g time. 

i miss this snuggly little boy. he never lets anyone hold him tight anymore. 

puppy dog love

every night when grayson goes to sleep he gets to hang out with his dog blanket. my heart literally melts when i peak in on him and see him snuggling with it. melts. 

tell me that is not the most adorable thing ever!?

time to lower the crib

Yesterday i put grayson down to take a nap. I sat on the floor next to his crib because he kept sitting up and i didn't want him to see me while i waited for him to fall asleep. Stinker found me...

He thought we were playing some kind of game. 

Clearly him hanging over the crib was a sign that we needed to lower it. 

5 minutes!!!

i know i know. this is the third freakin post in a row about this but it's kind of a big deal for us!


tonight we put grayson down and he was asleep in under five minutes. i went to check on him and he was snuggling with his little dog blanket. 

how stinkin cute is it that he's snuggling with the blanket. this is the "nighttime" object we selected for him that he only gets when he goes to bed. 


amazing!!! i know some nights are easier then others but i'm really hoping this becomes the norm. 


woohoo!

rested

Last night grayson finally stopped crying and was out by 9:30. I heard him wake up on the baby monitor sometime in the night, then again around 7 or so. Both times he went right back to sleep. He did not get up this morning until 9am and played in his crib till 9:30. That's twelve hours!!!!! He has never ever slept that long. He was so happy to see me this morning. So i am one rested mama today! 


I really hope this sticks and was not just beginners luck. 

breaking bad habits...and my heart.

At grayson's 6 month appointment the pediatrician asked about his sleeping habits. We get him ready for bed around 8:30 or so, give him a bottle and he sleeps on our chest until we are ready to go to bed. Sometimes he sleeps till 5 or 6, most nights he gets up at 12 and on the bad nights he is up at 12, 3 and then again at 5 or 6. We usually give him a bottle and rock him back to sleep.

Apparently we are doing it all wrong...

The pediatrician said he really does not need a bottle when he gets up at 12, we should wait until he wakes up later to offer him food. He also said he should not be falling asleep while having a bottle because it will be the only way he will know how to go down. Wake him up if he falls asleep while eating. Okay. Not a big deal.

Then he tells us we shouldn't be rocking him to sleep either! This slightly devastated me (okay really devastated me). Putting him to bed every night is my favorite part of the day. He snuggles up close on your chest and it's the best thing in the world. Especially since when he is awake he never sits still long enough to let you snuggle him like that.

It's just what we've always done, from day one...

I've been debating it, dreading it and simply putting it off. I really did not want to start this new routine. My mom reminded me that sometimes even if it's not what we want, we need to do things that are best for the child. I didn't think it was that important but i suppose learning how to go to sleep without being rocked is important. I can't hold him till he is asleep the rest of his life.

So last night we lay him down as we get ready to go to bed. Like clockwork he wakes up at 12:15 and starts to whine. Mark started to get up to rock him back to sleep but i stopped him. I wanted to see if he would fall back asleep on his own without us going in there. Ten minutes passes and the whining turns into full out crying. I go in there and rub his back and shussh him but do not pick him up. I walked out and he was wailing, crying harder then i've ever heard before.

I felt like total crap. It was horrible. I laid there staring at the ceiling not knowing how long i should let it go on, debating if this was the right thing to do. I have never let him just cry before, i always go to him, always comfort him. This killed me.

After another ten minutes passed Mark went in and rubbed his back some more and walked out. He still cried. 12:45 rolled around and he started to calm himself, and not a minute sooner. I really was not sure how much longer I could take it. The crying did not bother me, it was that he was crying and i knew i had the ability to stop it but wasn't.

He finally fell asleep and did not get up till 7:30.

I went through all of today dreading tonight. Last night he put himself to sleep but only after he had woken up. Tonight I would be putting him down while he was wide awake. It would be ever harder because I was on my own. Mark had school and would not be around till later.

At 8 we had dinner, got a bath, did the normal nightime routine of pajamas, viatamins and brushing his gums. Instead of going downstairs though we grabbed a book sat in the rocker and read. I offered him a bottle but did not let him fall asleep. Then i sang him a lullaby as i placed him into his crib. I read that you should pick an object that is only associated with bedtime so i placed a small dog blanket in with him.

As i kissed him and started to walk away i saw the panic in his eyes. He knew something was up and started crying. I tried so much to not listen. I went into the kitchen where i knew i would not hear his crying. I kept walking to the bottom of the stairs to listen. Crying, crying and more crying.

I made a deal with myself that i would not go up there until twenty minutes had passed. Twenty minutes rolled around and as i was heading upstairs i heard him calm down so i sat and listened. Ten minutes later he was asleep. I went up to check on him and he was out.

It was hard. I hated it. He hated it. It had to be done though. It's supposed to get easier and easier each night and eventually he will go down without crying at all. I really hate that he has to cry at all. I just don't know any other way of doing this.

I still don't know if this really is the best thing for us but for now we will see how it goes.

disadvantages to removing the bumper pads

i am constantly walking into grayson's room to find this...

stinker.

usually it's a foot, but lately it's been the arm. i think it's time to put those bumpers back up. 

tricky tricky

grayson has gotten better and better about sleeping at night. we went from him getting up every few hours, to just once a night, to sleeping THROUGH the night! woohoo. monday he slept all night long. went to bed at 9:30 and had to be woken up the next morning at 8. it was wonderful. i was so happy with him. 


jokes on me. 


every night since then has gotten worse. he is reverting back to his newborn sleeping habits. last night he was up every couple hours, then awake and wanting to play at 6:45. 


just when you think they are zigging. they zag. 

sleeping baby

i have not been torturing my child again by making him sleep in the carseat. he's back in his bed. mark got the motion sensor to work in his crib so now g and i can both sleep comfortably. he actually doesn't always roll onto his belly, but if he does i don't freak out quite as much. 

it's a beautiful thing, a sleeping baby. (especially one who has been sleeping till 530am!)

sleeping update

i decided to call the ped and ask him about our new sleeping situation. he told me that he would prefer grayson was not sleeping that way but there was nothing we could safely do to stop him (again, contemplating duck tape). so that sucks. 


i am a cronic worrier. grayson had a low birth weight and he's a male, so there are two strikes against him already. we put him to bed last night and when i went up he was on his belly with his face in the mattress. no freakin way was i letting him sleep that way. 


so up came the carseat. he slept in it on the floor next to my bed. he was not happy about the situation though, he kept letting out these annoyed cries through the night and i would have to rock him back to sleep. needless to say. i am tired today. 


we have an anglecare monitor with a sensor but we can't figure out how to use it. (ps mark this is your reminder to call them today!) if it was working properly i would feel a whole lot better but until it is clearly no one will be sleeping. 

will i ever sleep again?

since we've moved grayson into his room he's started sleeping though the night. (alle-freakin-luia) i of course still get up around 4 every night instinctively and while i'm up i figure i might as well check on him. 

i usually find him sleeping nicely in his crib. no problems. not last night. 

he always slept on his back. the last couple nights he's been sleeping on his side. last night he was on his stomach! (cue heart attack!) every article, ever nurse and doctor, every everyone warns you. 

do. not. let. your. child. sleep. on. their. stomach. 

so i rolled him onto his back, and kept my hand on his shoulder until he relaxed. i would lay back in bed and like a nut i felt the need to get up and check again. he was on his stomach. every time! 

i sat there an contemplated for the longest time what i could do to get him to sleep on his back and not his stomach. if he knew how to roll from his stomach to his back i wouldn't worry as much but he doesn't. he only knows how to roll from his back to his stomach (which apparently is opposite of the way babies learn?). 

i couldn't get him to cooperate so i pretty much was up the rest of the night checking on him and rolling him back onto his stomach. 

i honestly have no idea what to do. is it okay. is it not. do i duck tape the child to his crib to get him to lay flat!?

so much for getting more sleep.

bumbos are for...sleeping?

i decided to bring grayson's bumbo out to breakfast with us the other morning. 

he was playing in it then slowly he started to slump down and in seconds he was asleep. 

must be nice to be able to sleep anywhere like that. 

big boy bed!

okay not a big boy bed. his crib.


sunday night we made the transition from him sleeping in our room with us to him sleeping in his crib. in his room. alone! 


he could care less, he is happy to sleep anywhere. i was the sad one. 


when he came home from the hospital i decided with him getting up so frequent, and me being nervous about the whole new baby thing, sleeping in our room was best. 


being in our bed was out of the question. i was afraid we would roll onto him or one of the dogs would suffocate him but sleeping against his face. instead he was in a cradle next to me. he was easy to get to and i could lay my hand on his chest through the night to make sure he was okay. 


i said "just till he's three months"(i don't know where i came up with that number). 


then three months came and i realized he is getting too big for his cradle and that we should probably start using his room. 


we seriously spent over an hour trying to figure out his monitor. it was so frustrating. once we got it to work, and tested it a million times, i felt a little better about him leaving us. he did awesome the first night. he slept till 4. i got up a couple times to check on him though. i heard him let out a cry at one point and i literally became superwoman. i flew out of bed and ran into his room. (he never ever cries when he wakes up at night) he was sounds asleep though so he must have been crying in his sleep about something. i surprised myself at how fast i was out of that bed though. 


the transition really has not been bad. the first night was tough for me but after that i was okay. it's actually nice because i can go in his room, sit in the rocker and not have to worry about waking up mark. it's just him and i. i do miss being able to open my eyes and see him sleeping next to me though. 

bedtime

when grayson first came home from the hospital it was chaos. no routine. no schedule. just trying to stay afloat. now we are more in the swing of things. 

after making the mistake of letting him take a 6 hour nap one day and him not sleeping all night i realized we need to enforce a routine. 

he can nap all he wants during the day but once 6pm hits we keep him up until 930/10. he usually is up from his naps by 6 anyway. it's just a matter of entertaining him until bedtime. he usually starts to loose it around 8ish so thats when the bath happens. this child loves his baths. he is a water baby for sure. we let him hang out in his whale tub and on more then one occasion he has been in there too long and we have ended up needing to repeat the bath. oops. after the bath he gets his baby massage which he looooves. then his daddy reads him a book. he eats, and then he is free to sleep. 

it's so nice that he's starting to sleep longer. we are getting more and more 4 hours stretches between feedings during the night. usually the one from the time he goes to bed till the next one lasts the longest. he still has his bad nights where he refuses to sleep but they are fewer and farther apart then the good nights. 

i have also learned to get by on very little sleep. i am not a napper, and even if i was there really is never time because when he sleeps i use that time to get some of the millions of things on my list done. 

this is by far the hardest job ever, but we're learning. 

the seahorse

after seeing this thing pop up over and over on various blogs i figured it must be worth having. and i was right. at night he loves looking at it and listening to the music (this child LOVES music). the belly glows and that seems to be some kind of baby trance. the only problem is it lasts for about five minutes so i keep having to get up and push his belly to start it over again. he is grayson's sleeping buddy.