bad mommy morning

i had a bad mommy morning. 

it really drives me nuts when other moms pretend like they always have it together, and they never experience a morning where both them, the baby (and sometimes the dogs!) are all screaming and crying. really? i am the only one? i doubt it. 

i can usually cope with the no sleeping thing. breastfeeding is tough. grayson eats a lot, and often. even if mark were to get up with him i would still need to be up pumping so there is no point in that. some nights he is great, other nights not so much.

last night i got no sleep. 

and for some reason grayson was off this morning. he usually sleeps till 745, leaving me enough time to get myself showered and ready to walk out the door by 8. 

not this morning. 

he was awake, and hungry, and wanting to be held. so i was trying to take care of him, and me, AND the dogs. maybe i could have dealt with it on another morning, but not this morning. not when i had been up all night either feeding or rocking the baby. 

he was crying, i was crying, the dogs were crying. okay not crying, but barking. it was a madhouse. 

then i tried to decapitate myself with the car door. i was shutting it and without thinking stuck my head in to grab something. whacked myself with the door. 

it was just one of those days. 

poor grayson had to feed himself

whatever works right?

i was trying to keep it together but the song on the radio was singing lyrics about running away so i was starting to loose it again. then i looked in my rear view mirror. 

do you see what i see?

it made me feel so much better. 

it was still a bad mommy morning though.