At grayson's 6 month appointment the pediatrician asked about his sleeping habits. We get him ready for bed around 8:30 or so, give him a bottle and he sleeps on our chest until we are ready to go to bed. Sometimes he sleeps till 5 or 6, most nights he gets up at 12 and on the bad nights he is up at 12, 3 and then again at 5 or 6. We usually give him a bottle and rock him back to sleep.
Apparently we are doing it all wrong...
The pediatrician said he really does not need a bottle when he gets up at 12, we should wait until he wakes up later to offer him food. He also said he should not be falling asleep while having a bottle because it will be the only way he will know how to go down. Wake him up if he falls asleep while eating. Okay. Not a big deal.
Then he tells us we shouldn't be rocking him to sleep either! This slightly devastated me (okay really devastated me). Putting him to bed every night is my favorite part of the day. He snuggles up close on your chest and it's the best thing in the world. Especially since when he is awake he never sits still long enough to let you snuggle him like that.
It's just what we've always done, from day one...
I've been debating it, dreading it and simply putting it off. I really did not want to start this new routine. My mom reminded me that sometimes even if it's not what we want, we need to do things that are best for the child. I didn't think it was that important but i suppose learning how to go to sleep without being rocked is important. I can't hold him till he is asleep the rest of his life.
So last night we lay him down as we get ready to go to bed. Like clockwork he wakes up at 12:15 and starts to whine. Mark started to get up to rock him back to sleep but i stopped him. I wanted to see if he would fall back asleep on his own without us going in there. Ten minutes passes and the whining turns into full out crying. I go in there and rub his back and shussh him but do not pick him up. I walked out and he was wailing, crying harder then i've ever heard before.
I felt like total crap. It was horrible. I laid there staring at the ceiling not knowing how long i should let it go on, debating if this was the right thing to do. I have never let him just cry before, i always go to him, always comfort him. This killed me.
After another ten minutes passed Mark went in and rubbed his back some more and walked out. He still cried. 12:45 rolled around and he started to calm himself, and not a minute sooner. I really was not sure how much longer I could take it. The crying did not bother me, it was that he was crying and i knew i had the ability to stop it but wasn't.
He finally fell asleep and did not get up till 7:30.
I went through all of today dreading tonight. Last night he put himself to sleep but only after he had woken up. Tonight I would be putting him down while he was wide awake. It would be ever harder because I was on my own. Mark had school and would not be around till later.
At 8 we had dinner, got a bath, did the normal nightime routine of pajamas, viatamins and brushing his gums. Instead of going downstairs though we grabbed a book sat in the rocker and read. I offered him a bottle but did not let him fall asleep. Then i sang him a lullaby as i placed him into his crib. I read that you should pick an object that is only associated with bedtime so i placed a small dog blanket in with him.
As i kissed him and started to walk away i saw the panic in his eyes. He knew something was up and started crying. I tried so much to not listen. I went into the kitchen where i knew i would not hear his crying. I kept walking to the bottom of the stairs to listen. Crying, crying and more crying.
I made a deal with myself that i would not go up there until twenty minutes had passed. Twenty minutes rolled around and as i was heading upstairs i heard him calm down so i sat and listened. Ten minutes later he was asleep. I went up to check on him and he was out.
It was hard. I hated it. He hated it. It had to be done though. It's supposed to get easier and easier each night and eventually he will go down without crying at all. I really hate that he has to cry at all. I just don't know any other way of doing this.
I still don't know if this really is the best thing for us but for now we will see how it goes.
You are doing a GREAT job. Logan has never really liked being rocked to sleep or falling asleep on us to begin with, however we have had to do a little bit of sleep training here and there and I know how hard it is to let them cry. My rule is that as long as he is not wailing, I let him cry. If it escalates then I go in, sooth him, and leave again. It WILL get better.
ReplyDeleteI totally think there is a time and a place for sleep training. It sounds like it's going pretty well for you guys, as hard as it is.
ReplyDeleteI also totally think there is much truth to the fact that I know NO adults that need to be rocked to sleep, despite how they were rocked to sleep as infants :o)
I hope you guys figure out what works best for you, both for sleep and for your comfort!
Way to go! I can't imagine. Greyson cries and it kills me. We were told the same thing at his 6 month check-up about the middle of the night waking. He actually lost weight and the pediatrician thinks it was due to him eating at 3am keeping his metabolism going! We went through 2 nights of screaming at 3am but now he's sleeping great *knockonwood* Sounds like Grayson is doing a great job so far, hope the cries stop sooner and sooner :)
ReplyDeletewe pretty much let Aydan fall asleep on our chest too and then put him down in the crib for the night around 10. he does pretty good throughout the night...he'll make some noise if he notices that he no longer has a pacifier in his mouth and then we just go in there, give it bacj and he falls back alseep. I know the day is coming when we have to put him in the crib wake to get him to sleep by himself. But I feel like by the time I get home and play with him and eat...it's not hurting too much to hold him while we relax...so what if he falls asleep in my arms :)
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